I smiled

For him, who I'll always love...



The other night,
I lay awake,
Sleep was elusive,
And I knew I was at a point where I had to be decisive.
The pictures, the memories breezed through my mind,
And in an instant, my eyes cried, but my heart smiled…
I cried because you weren’t here,
And I smiled because you were far, yet so near;
I cried because of the hurt I felt,
I smiled because in my heart, your love dwelled;
I cried because I didn’t want to think of you,
I smiled because your memory was as fresh and sweet as the morning dew;
I cried because I needed you so much,
I smiled because I could feel your touch;
I cried because all I had was pictures,
I smiled because I could feel my fingers tracing your features;
I cried as I thought of the moments before I left,
I smiled because it was you I held and wept;
I cried out of fear that we’d lost each other,
I smiled, knowing that for me there’d never be another;
I cried thinking of living without you by my side,
I smiled knowing my heart would beat only for you, even if I died;
I cried because you wouldn’t even know how much I love you,
I smiled because I knew;
And I smiled and smiled and smiled because I hadn’t realised until then
That I had so much love to give,
Because I hadn’t realised until then that loving you was all I needed to live…

Always yours.

Heaven

For him, who I'll love forever...

We’ve been down that road before
And it’s over now…

The words ring over and over,
I look out, seeking some kind of closure,
But all I see is darkness,
Oh, how I long for your warm embrace,
How I pine for your sweet kiss,
There’s not one thing about us that I don’t miss,
Your eyes, narrowing as you smile,
Your lips, gently pressing against mine,
Your touch, so close, so true,
Your words, whispering ‘I love you’…
Then reality snaps me out of my reverie,
And I feel the darkness again, dark and eerie,
But I make a silent promise to you, to me, to us,
Through every waking moment, from dawn to dusk,
A promise to never let go,
A promise to love you till the end of my road,
To breathe so I live to love you,
To hope with every heart beat, we’ll one day say ‘I do’
To hold you through the night,
To be by your side, through wrong and right,
To lie down with my head on you,
Your arm around me, protecting from every rue…
And to know just then,
That this is and this will be forever my heaven…

Always yours.