Modern-day condolence?

A to B: “Lovely kurti... Where did you pick it up from?”

B to A: “Oh, thanks! Picked it up in such a hurry from Camp just today morning!”

C to D: “You have to, have to, have to come home and taste the chocolate mousse I've made. Have joined this new class...”

D to C: “Really? You toh don't invite me only. Gaayab hi ho jaati hain...!”

E to F: “Arre Neeta, ladki ki shaadi kab kar rahi hain?”

F to E: “God knows ya! She says she wants to focus on her work right now...”

Regular 'women' conversations. They have to be, considering the topics are clothes, cooking and a wedding. Nothing to write home about, right? Wrong.
These seemingly random conversations between two women-friends didn't take place at MG Rd or a parlour or a kitty party or a mall. They took place at a chautha (fourth day after a person's death). I know, because Neeta's 'ladki' in the conversation above is me.
I was aghast when mum recounted the hushed whispers she heard, sitting at the back of the hall where the solemn function was on to honour the dead. She herself was shocked that she was asked about my marriage at such a place and time.
It made me think and wonder why these women had even gathered for the chautha. Is it really just a formality, where they think 'Shakal toh dikhani padegi!” Whether you're whispering or talking aloud, sitting at the back or right in the front doesn't really matter here. The point is that that talk is sheer disrespect for the one who has passed away, and for his or her family members who are grieving the death.
Since when has offering condolence become such a farce? Have we become so caught up in the material world, that we think of what clothes people are wearing to a funeral? I didn't know that a chautha was just another social gathering, as if there aren't enough already. But I know now, and I'd rather not attend such a function than be party to such distasteful behaviour.
Agreed that it's in our nature to talk and gossip, but that gossip can wait till after you've left the function, or can't it? And if you have to talk, then why not talk about how the person for whom you're present at such a function touched your life? Why not talk about the good the person has done? Why not honour him or her by showing the family members that you're there for them during this hard time?
They say souls stay on for some days after death, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the ultimate purpose of a chautha would be to pray that the soul rest in peace. I don't think that knowing where a kurti is bought from or when I'm going to get married is in anyway going to help the soul rest in peace. But then, correct me if I'm wrong.

Nupur Chaudhuri