Free.

A thousand, maybe more, memories swirl in my head as I think back. I think of nothing in particular, nothing in general. I just think of life so far. And I’m awestruck at how I’ve changed.

One thing that always remained constant though was my fear of what lay ahead. The fear of getting hurt; the fear of having nobody; the fear of losing; the fear of being better but not the best…The fear of the future.

But suddenly, it’s gone. I’ll be lying if I say I don’t think of the future. I do. But I’m not scared anymore.

I don’t know whether it’s the loss of love or the gain of a new love, but one of them has taught me to live in the Now. To live for the Now.

My Life at the mo:
I don’t have a full-time job.

I’m 23 (almost) and am asking dad for dough. Heck, I didn’t do that when I was 16!

My savings are nothing to boast of!

I still don’t have that glass closet of heels, flats, pumps.

I’m running out of clothes.

I haven’t joined belly dancing.

I haven’t joined horse riding.

I don’t want to move to Bombay.

Pune doesn’t really have too many options for me.

I (still) can’t cook, except for chocolate mousse!

I sleep a lot through the day!

The only day I really, really, really look forward to and am wide awake for is Wednesday.

But everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, I smile.

:)

It's love. That’s it! I just know that’s it. For me, Love has always taken first place. But Love, as I’ve known it before, has made me fear, has made me pine, has given me pain, has made me cry. Love, as I’ve known it before, has made me worry about that love not being there anymore.

But not now. Love, as I know it now, makes me smile, makes me blush, makes me shy, makes me thankful, makes me satisfied,makes me love myself. Love, as I know it now, sets me free.

I’m not scared anymore. The constant fear has left me. Coz I know, whatever happens, love will always find me, love will always be there.

Being in love had always been a weakness. I like the use of ‘had’ in that sentence :), coz now, being in love… in love with him…is my strongest strength.

It’s crazy love, right love, happy love :) It’s one-of-a-kind love :) It’s the Him-n-Me love :) :) :)

Find: Happy

Her eyes stare out at me,
The desperation is clear for all to see,
The love has gone,
But in her, there’s another storm,
‘What will the world say?’ she asks,
And slowly, again, she crawls behind the mask.

Just what will the world say?
The world will question,
The world will talk about her stray.
People will give her the eye,
They’ll bring her down to her knees, make her cry.
She’ll hear taunts, she’ll hear rumours,
She’ll realize who was never hers.
They’ll rip her life, year by year,
Give her pain so severe…
She knows, she’s scared,
So she won’t ever dare,
To take that step, to be free,
To give herself the chance to experience ‘Happy’…

I tell her to live for today,
For yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow’s only a ‘may’,
They won’t give her happiness,
And so she’ll miss,
Her chance to feel, her chance to be,
Her chance to find out what is ‘Happy’…

I tell her to cut the string,
To throw the ring,
To, at her own behest,
Never settle for second best…

I tell her to realize,
That no one will stop her cries,
Except for her.

I want her to know,
When bad is over, there’s good ALWAYS in store.
Life has started, and life will end,
But in between, life gives the chance to amend,
She should grab it and slay the fear,
Of a new beginning, of finding another dear,
Only then, will she know and see,
Just what really is ‘Happy’…

I want her to look the world in the eye,
Without a flinch, without a sigh,
She doesn’t need them to reprove,
What only matters is that her heart approves,
Coz the world’s not gonna set her soul free,
Coz that will be,
Only when she gets back ‘Happy’.

Life will give you chances aplenty,
To know, to realize, to find and to keep ‘Happy’.
Take the chance before life passes you by,
For down the line, you’ll be asking, ‘Why didn’t I?’

My Miracle :)

Sometimes it takes miracles to believe again. For me, it just took him :)

I look out at people rushing through their lives; I watch the trees sway to the tunes of the breeze; I hear the birds chirp in myriad manners; and I feel the air envelop me.

I smile.

And think.

‘They can never make me as happy as he.” :)


Years before, I was asked, ‘Just what do you want?’

‘I want it to be perfect,’ I said.

‘It can never be,’ I was told, and rightly so, it never was.

Years later, again I was asked, ‘Just what do you want?’

‘I want it to be perfect,’ I said again.

‘That doesn’t exist,’ I was told.

I paused. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………
……………………………
………………………
…………………

‘Maybe you’re right,’ I whispered.

But no, they were wrong! Perfect can be, and Perfect does exist. I know. Because it’s mine. :))

I’ve had miracles happen in my life. But this one, is like God showing off.

My miracle has eyes that only notice me,
Lips that only want to touch mine,
A smile that fills me with happiness,
A touch that makes me long for its caress…

My miracle cares,
My miracle is aware,
Of how I feel inside,
My miracle makes me confide…

My miracle completes me,
My miracle makes me whole,
My miracle makes me lose track of time,
My miracle is only mine. :)

My miracle makes me want to love,
My miracle makes me believe in the One above,
My miracle makes me want to value, cherish and give,
My miracle makes me want to live…



He’s perfect. We’re perfect, together.

I have no regrets now of all the ill-fittings I’ve been through, because I’ve finally found what was made for me and it fits Perfect to the T. :)